The Beauty Queen's Vassal
by The Genius Mage
Summary: Etna's still a bit sore over the events of Disgaea 2, and now any grievances that Laharl commits towards her is paid back ten-fold, as he soon finds out. It's so much fun being Etna's vassal that Hanako doesn't even know where to begin! Friendship-fic.


_~*_The Beauty Queen's Vassal_*~_

_And after all that work her brother did to make her human again!_

~*X*~

**There** were a few things that Hanako knew better than to do ever since she had moved into Prince Laharl's castle with Master Etna.

First and foremost, she was _never_, under _any_ circumstances, even if she was _dying_ of hunger, allowed to touch Etna's sweet stash. The gourmet chocolates, colorful candies, and most important of all the rich puddings, were off-limits unless the Beauty Queen said so. The one time she had made this mistake and had taken a single soft peppermint from a jar, she hadn't been brutally mauled or anything, but Hanako had had to work a Prinny's work day.

That meant twenty hours with no breaks.

The Prinnies said she got off easy. If any of _them_ had been caught taking candy, they'd have been thrown, stabbed, or else otherwise violently harmed without any signs of remorse whatsoever.

But it was no secret that Etna had a soft spot for her vassal.

Secondly, Hanako learned that if she wanted to stay on Etna's good side, she wasn't supposed to forget to make her Master something to eat at least once a day. Hanako's cooking made her popular in the castle, not just with Etna, but with Laharl and Flonne as well. It seemed everybody and their mothers had sweet teeth in this place, something she intended to use to her advantage.

Third, and most notably, Hanako knew that if she wanted to continue being Etna's vassal, she had to remember what Prince Laharl had said. "_Etna's_ vassals are _my_ vassals." Etna had remarked once that unless she was already in the process of doing something for her, she should go help with "whatever the Prince is whining about now".

Hanako was currently racing down the dark hallways of the castle, arms extended in imitation of an airplane, hurrying to her rendezvous with Etna. Her small bat-like wings flapped up and down on her back. Though Adell had turned all of Veldime back into humans, Hanako had opted to turn _back_ into a demon so she could fulfill her dream of being a powerful and sexy Demon Lord like her idol.

Adell, needless to say, had been exasperated upon finding out. "Sad thing is, I can't say I'm really surprised."

Last _she_ had heard, Taro had transformed back into a demon too so he could effectively serve Rozalin for the rest of his semi-immortal life. On top of all of _that_, _Adell_ was recently revealed to be a full-blooded demon so it wasn't like they were the only demons in the family or anything. Hanako felt a minor twinge, thinking about how her parents probably felt, but she brushed it aside after a moment.

_I can't think about that now! Etna's waiting!_

She skidded around a corner and sprinted down the next corridor, startling a Prinny and causing him to drop the teetering tower of boxes he had been struggling to balance. She didn't even stop to help him, just giggled and at last arrived at Laharl's throne room. She slid in and hastily performed a somewhat mocking salute. "Sorry I'm late, Master Etna!"

Etna was leaning her weight against her Elder Spear, the curved red blade glinting sinisterly in the torchlight. She was surrounded by her Prinny Squad, and to this day Hanako had no idea just how many were in the Squad. One day there was only three, then six, then nine, and _then_ three again. She never really asked because she figured there were as many members as Etna wanted. Whoever was in charge of sending Prinnies to their Netherworld must have his number on her speed-dial, because the Beauty Queen was never short on low-income servants.

"Hm?" Etna rolled her eyes around to survey Hanako lazily. She had the relaxed but dominant presence of a man-eating tiger. "Oh, morning Hanako. You don't have to worry; the Prince isn't even up yet."

"He's not? Why's that?" She put her hands on her waist like normal, rocking on the balls of her feet, full of energy.

"You should know by now that the Prince isn't a morning person. In fact he's an _afternoon_ person. _But_ if he intends to send us somewhere, you think he'd at _least _get his ass out of bed!" She was really mad now, gritting her teeth. Hanako swore she saw sparks flying out from between her fangs as if steel had just been rubbed together. "I mean, he came to speak with me last night about some stupid mission he was going to tell us about in the morning, and how we shouldn't be late, blah blah blah...And yet here it is, nearly _ten o'clock_ and no sign of him!"

"Maybe he overslept, dood?" A Prinny suggested.

"Yeah, want me to go wake him up?" added another.

Etna eyed them disinterestedly. "No, I've got another idea. Hanako."

"Yeah, Master Etna?"

She smirked. "We're going out. How do you feel about accompanying me on a little raid?"

"Sounds good! What're we raiding?" She tilted her head to the side. "Oh let me guess, the Prince's sweet stash, right?"

"That's not a half bad idea, but no, we're doing something…different this time." The cunning look on Etna's face seemed to be frightening the Prinnies, because they started moaning in terror amongst themselves.

"I _knew_ I should have found some way to stay with Master Valvatorez, dood!"

"I wish I'd gone to Celestia dood…"

"Me too, dood!"

"I'm sorry my dear Prinnies, did you _say something_?" Etna growled, and immediately they all lifted their flippers in clumsy salutes.

"Nothing, dood! We love you Master Etna!" They obediently chorused.

"Demon Lord 101 Hanako," said Etna, turning to her. "Make certain that your vassals know who's boss!"

"Okay, I've got it." She nodded, gazing past her idol at the three miserable Prinnies. "So what _are_ we doing, Master Etna?"

"Hmm, tell you what. You take these Prinnies and go to the Dimensional Gatekeeper, okay? Wait for me once you get there, I've got to go…fetch someone."

Hanako grinned. "Sure, right away!"

Etna stuck her tongue out coyly in an "I've got a big plan just you wait" kind of way and soon vanished. Hanako couldn't keep back her squeal of excitement, though she managed to stifle it behind her hands.

"Isn't she just _the most amazing demon_ you've _ever_ seen? I want to be _just_ like her!" She gathered the Prinnies and together all four of them set off down the bleak castle passageways. Any of Laharl's vassals that weren't working on something in particular were lounging around endeavoring to avoid doing anything if at _all_ possible. Hanako waved at Aramis as she passed him, though he didn't appear to notice, his head buried in a book that seemed to be bound with human flesh instead of leather.

Once upon a time the sight would have disturbed her, now she barely spared it a second thought.

The quiet, blonde-haired Healer that acted as the Dimensional Gatekeeper merely curtsied as they approached, her eyes closed as always. How in the world she managed to get through the day in such a fashion was far beyond Hanako. The Rosenqueen Co. guys and gals that ran the shop nearby were attempting to persuade a hesitant looking Gladiator into buying a more expensive model of a sword he already owned. Screams could be heard coming from the Infirmary as the nurse set someone's broken bones none too gently, and the Item World chick was explaining the basics to a new vassal, who was taking it all in wide-eyed.

"There's a _world_ inside my ice cream cone?"He asked, bewildered, examining the thing as if he expected to see little people building civilizations on the chocolate chips. "What happens to it when I eat it?"

All totally normal sounds in the Netherworld.

The Prinny beside her cast his gaze around in a conspiring manner. "Hey, Hanako dood, can I ask you a question?"

"Huh? Sure I guess, what's up?"

"Why do you want to be like _Master Etna_, dood? Why can't you be more like Miss Flonne?"

Hanako scowled. "Well hey, no offense to Flonne, but Etna's like a _career demoness_. She's got everything planned out in her life, and she's so _powerful_! Everyone respects her and she's really cool too!"

"We don't want another Master Etna dood," the Prinny murmured weakly.

"Why not?" She inquired, curious despite herself.

"Dood she _kills us_! You have no idea what it's like _really_ serving under her dood! She's nice to you but _brutal_ to us, dood!" The Prinny was sagging forward on his peg legs, as if just talking about his Master was weighing him down.

The other Prinnies muttered cautiously in agreement. Hanako considered what she was hearing. So the Prinnies clearly respected Etna out of fear rather than, well, actual respect. She recalled how they had turned on the Beauty Queen after she had lost all her Levels back during the Zenon stuff, and that_ really_ got her thinking. Suppose she, Hanako, played up to the Prinnies as the "good guy"? Got them all to like her? Then one day when she was ready, she could perform a coup d'état and really stick it home to everyone that there was a new sexy Demon Lord in town, and her name was—

"Hanako, dood? You've got a scary look on your face, dood," remarked one of the Prinnies anxiously.

She clapped her hands and smiled a sly smile. "Hey guys, if it makes you feel any better, I agree with you." She quickly scanned the masses, but saw Etna nowhere in sight. The Overlord's Castle was really starting to get crowded as Laharl's rule entered full swing. Every now and then she spotted people who weren't _really_ the Prince's vassals, just friends who fought for him—like the girl Marona and the mysterious Plenair, both probably here for a visit. No sign of the ponytailed redhead though.

"_Really_, dood?" said the Prinny she had been speaking with earlier incredulously.

"Yeah, I do! I'll do my best to make sure you get treated right, okay?"

"Thank you, Miss Hanako dood!" cried two of the Prinnies, but one remained skeptical, his beak clamped shut.

"But it's our little secret, don't tell Etna!"

"Aye aye dood!"

Not long after Hanako had finished her declaration, she heard a familiar voice coming their way.

"Today is Sir Laharl's birthday?"

"That's right Flonne, and we're all going out to get _gifts_ for him! Isn't that just _great_?" Etna was using her cutesy voice; that was simultaneously a good _and_ bad sign.

"I thought his birthday wasn't until—"

"Well, even if it's _not_ his birthday, we're going to throw a party anyway for our hardworking Prince. Of course as soon as I thought of that, I just _knew_ I had to get _you_ to pick out all the little decorations!"

"Certainly, Miss Etna! I'll make sure to get only the best!"

"We're going to _Celestia_, Flonne," Etna continued as they reached Hanako and the Prinnies. She gave her apprentice a _hush-hush _look before she went on. "What do you think of _that_?"

"Celestia? To pick out decorations?" The Fallen Angel looked perplexed but excited, her heart-shaped tail waving behind her excitedly.

The Prinnies had enough sense to keep quiet. Hanako herself was anticipating the journey, since she had never set foot on holy ground before. Talk about being a long way from home! Thinking of Veldime made her think of her family, and she guiltily shoved the notion behind some other things marked _do not touch_ in her head. If she wanted to be a Demon Lord, sacrifices had to be made, and it wasn't like she intended never to see her family again…Right? Tardo and Rozy and Adell…Mom and Dad…

Flonne blinked, and then she smiled so brightly that even Etna joined in. "I'm very glad Seraph Lamington gave us permission to visit Celestia! I know _just_ the place to get all the decorations we'll need!"

"I'm _so _glad to hear that, Flonne. I knew I was right in coming to you." The Beauty Queen was wearing a self-satisfied smirk, like a cat. She turned to the Dimensional Gatekeeper. "So, you heard me, right? Open a path to Celestia, pronto."

"As you wish," intoned the Gatekeeper. She spread her hands and the ancient ring in front of them spun briefly before its hollow center filled with a cosmic blue-white light. The energy it released made everyone's clothes ripple in the breeze.

Hanako squinted against the intensity of its glow. "Master Etna?"

"Yeah?"

She tried to match Etna's smirk. "I think I know what you're up to!"

She winked. "Well keep quiet, alright? Don't want to spoil the…_surprise_."

They both giggled and Flonne blinked, clearly having no clue what the two were discussing.

"Miss Etna and Hanako are in a good mood today!" She exclaimed cheerily, her demonic red wings flapping with joy.

"Yeah, well, that's better than a _bad_ mood I guess dood…"

~*X*~

Overlord Laharl woke up belatedly, his scarlet eyes opening slowly. He dragged himself out of his coffin, his scarf trailing around his bare shoulders, fighting back the nagging suspicion that he had forgotten something. Well, whatever the hell it was, it could wait until breakfast…He wondered if Hanako was somewhere around the castle, because _damn_ that vassal of Etna's sure could cook…

Etna, vassal, the words made him remember the mission he had intended to send the two on. There was a demon stirring up trouble and it was high time someone put the guy in his place. There was no need for him to go personally, Etna would do just—

Laharl froze in horror as his sleep-blurred eyes fully took in the spectacle around him.

His usually very bare, very Gothic bedroom was decked out all over with _flowers _and _banners_. Everywhere he looked there were white, red, pink, and yellow _heart-shaped_ roses and daisies and…and…! And the banners read in disgusting curly calligraphy _"Thank you for all your hard work Prince Laharl!"_ It made him sick just to look at it, and his hair stood straight up on end as he shouted, "Who is _responsible_ for this?"

"Why, we are, Prince!"

Laharl's head whipped around and he spotted Etna, Flonne, some Prinnies, and Hanako standing at various points in the room grinning hugely. Flonne's looked sincere, at least, but the others all had the disturbing look of a posse of Cheshire Cats.

Etna continued. "I realized that _this morning_," the way she layered emphasis on the words could not be missed. "I had gotten up _early_ for apparently _no reason_, and I decided to show my appreciation towards the Prince by rounding up some friends and throwing you this wonderful little party!"

Laharl made a face at the honeyed tone of her voice. "Is that so?"

"Don't you just _love_ it, Laharl?" Flonne asked brightly.

He gave her a flat look, his tone matching it. "No. I _hate_ crap like this, as you well know! Etna, you and your vassals are going to take this down! _All_ of it! And I don't want to see your pathetic faces until you've completed your task! Understand?" He thought he was handling this rather professionally, thank you very much. He made to leave the room, but ended up bumping into a trailing hot pink ribbon. He recoiled from it with a yelp and Etna and her vassal broke into laughter.

"Oh, Laharl, we spent so much time on this though! We even went to Celestia!" Flonne had trotted over to him, helpfully holding the ribbon away with one hand.

"Celestia? For decorations? Are you mad?" Laharl snapped. "C'mon, Flonne! We're going to get something to eat." He hesitated, and then rounded on Hanako. "On second thought, you, come with me! _You're_ going to cook for us! Let's go!" Without so much as a glance back, he marched out of the room, head lifted imperiously. Flonne fluttered her hands uneasily, trying to persuade him to relinquish Etna and her Prinnies from the task of taking down such lovely decorations from his depressing room.

"It's _supposed_ to be depressing! I'm the Overlord! My enemies should weep just from _standing_ in my presence!"

Etna didn't seem too concerned with the Prince's edict, probably because she had no intentions of obeying it. The Prinnies, however, went about their new task with gusto since they knew slacking off with Etna right in front of them meant immediate death in the form of a toss. "Hey, Hanako."

"Yeah?" Hanako had yet to leave the room, hovering uncertainly near the door. She knew one of the rules she had to remember was that she was also _Laharl's_ vassal but she respected Etna over him—sort of like the Prinnies.

"Put what's in this vial in the Prince's food." She tossed a small glass beaker filled with a clear liquid at her, and she caught it. "Don't worry; I'll take all the heat."

"What's it do?" Hanako queried, lifting the vial up to examine the curious substance inside.

"You'll see." Etna grinned. "Well, you can't keep the Prince waiting, right?" Her eyes flashed with poorly suppressed laughter.

Hanako giggled and tucked the beaker in a pocket, running out of the room after Laharl, who was still arguing with Flonne.

The day she became a powerful and sexy Demon Lord was still a long ways away. She was willing to wait, especially since things stayed so _interesting_ working underneath someone like Beauty Queen Etna.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Sorry for any OOC-ness in advance! Still trying to get the hang of writing Disgaea fanfiction. I'm considering making this either a full story or else a one-shot collection...eh. Review, if you want, I appreciate them!<em>


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